Actual Newspaper Ads

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
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FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
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FREE PUPPIES...
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
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FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Better be a reward.
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COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
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NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.
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WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
Call Stephanie.
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AND THE BEST ONE:
FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition.
$1,000 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married last month.
Wife knows everything...