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Saturday, November 18, 2006

Pope and Martian

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Martians had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Martian community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Martian community. If the Martian won, the Martians could stay.
If the Pope won, the Martians would leave.

The Martians realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Marty Martian to represent them. Martian asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk.

The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Marty Martian and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Marty looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Marty pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.

Marty pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Martians can stay."
An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the
Pope asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy Trinity.

He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.
Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.

He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins.

He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.
He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Martian community had crowded around Marty Martian.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Well," said Marty, "First he said to me that the Martians had three days to get out of here.
I told him not one of us was leaving.
Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Martians.

I let him know that we were staying right here."
"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.
"I don't know", said Marty, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!"

Note on Martian Jokes:
The original ethnic group has been replaced with Martians according to my new policy.

Sardarji Message from Aravind

Aravind wrote:

"Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150

Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?

Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on
which animal:

Sardar gives up.


If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then
please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of
the puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again."

In the interests of good humour I would like to keep posting jokes about stupid people. Around the world, the jokes can be about Sardars, blondes, the Irish, Jewish American Princesses, Australians to name only a few. Yes, I too have been told jokes about my stupid nationality and been expected to laugh. None of these groups of people are actually stupid. Repeating the jokes simply reinforces false stereotypes and creates an atmosphere where discrimination against them is the norm. From now on I will substitute the fictitious ethnic group "Martian". As yet, no-one lives on Mars.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Office Joke: A Trainee

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:

"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're

talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone

Monday, November 06, 2006

Women, you mustn't stop drinking, shopping and visiting beauty salons.

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her purse, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked

"No I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I
haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. "Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight."

The homeless woman was astounded.
"Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."