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Saturday, December 09, 2006

More Martian Jokes

A Russian, an American, and a Martian were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the
first on the moon!" The Martian said, "So what? We're going to be the
first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian.To which the Martian replied, "We're not
stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

A martian was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it
on or off?"

A girl was visiting her martian friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The martian responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooooo......," answered the martian. "They're watch dogs"

Two Martians

Two martians living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking. One martian says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?" The other martian turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?"

Martian at the doctor's office

A gorgeous young American goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor.
"Show me."The American took her finger, pushed on her left hand and screamed; then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said,
"You're not really an American, are you?""Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a Martian.""I thought so," the doctor said.
"Your finger is broken."

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Cricket Joke

"I am a cricket fan",a first grade teacher explains to her class.
"Who likes cricket?"
Everyone raises a hand except one little girl "Rosie", the teacher says,surprised
"why don't you raise your hand?"
"I'm not a cricket fan."
"well,if you are not a cricket fan then which game do you like?"
"football", Rosie answered.
"why in the world are you a football fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are football fans."
"that's no reason to be a football fan",the teacher replies,annoyed.
"you don't always have to be just like your parents.
What if your mum and dad were morons? What would you be then?"

His and hers diary


This evening, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a
cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late,but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.I asked him what was wrong - he said,"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved
him, he simply smiled and kept driving.I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say,"I love you,too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost
him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to
confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts
are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


Today Australia lost the cricket test against England.