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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Privacy Policy (Not funny)

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Sunday, February 17, 2008

Rather Odd

A drunk university student in Dorset, England, swallowed his room key so his friends could not take him home and put him to bed. A friend tried unsuccessfully to recover the key using the Heimlich manoeuvre. The key, detected on an X-ray the following day, emerged 31 hours later.

From the OddSpot, February 9th, 2008.

A Canadian man intended to propose to his girlfriend on a Caribbean cruise until airport security got involved. Aaron Tkachuk, 24, had to pop the question in an airport queue when security staff found a diamond ring hidden in his carry-on luggage and asked to see what was in the box.

From the OddSpot, March 10, 2008.

The Oddspot is A daily update of strange and unusual news.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

One Liners

Best one liners from "Have Fun with English"

1. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
2. The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
3. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
4. If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
5. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
6. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
7. I intend to live forever. So far so good.
8. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
9. A day without sunshine is like, night.
10. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. We are all part of the ultimate statistic -- ten out of ten die.
12. They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
13. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
14. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
15. Don't steal. The government hates competition.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Martian Duck Hunter

A Martian went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Martians.

The game warden ordered the Martian to show his hunting license, and the Martian pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario.This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license,boy?"

The Martian reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?"

The Martian reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?"

Again the Martian reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Martian "Just where the hell are you from?"

The Martian smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, " You tell me, you're the expert."

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Hungry Vampires

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."

"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."

The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.

When he returns, he is covered with blood.

The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"

The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"

"Yes," the other bat answers.

"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."