Sardars

People from america, europe etc think blondes have no intelligence and have jokes about that fact..... here in india we think sardars/punjabi-s dont have intelligence and we have jokes about that...... even sardars enjoy them......

i may send some jokes about sardars where u r supposed to assume the above fact......


What is the height of stupidity? - two sardars sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

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A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this? The Sardar didn't know proper English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning becomes tight"

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Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has 2 swimming pools, 1 of which is always empty? It is for people who can't swim!

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A Sardar went to Kashmir officially and called to his house over phone.

A servant (also a sardar) had taken the receiver. Sardarji, Who is speaking?

Servant, its me Servant Sir.

Sardarji, Where is the Madam?

Servant, She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.

Sardarji, What? I am her husband came to kashmir today.

Servant, What can I do now sir?

Sardarji, Open the cub board, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, Till then I am waiting in the line. After some time ... there comes 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...

Servant, Yes, I did Sir. But what can i do next Sir?

Sardarji, open the back door, throw both of them into the well

Servant, I can open the back door, but how can i throw both of them from this third floor into the well in the ground floor Sir?

Sardarji, What...? Are you in the third floor?

Servant, Yes Sir

Sardarji, sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!

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Once Santa (sardar) got an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. Santa had never flown before and hence was quite excited although tense.

Once he boarded the plane, a BOEING 707, Santa started jumping in
excitement,jumping from seat to seat and shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!!
BOEING!!! BO....'.

He forgot all about the surroundings and the shouting reached the cock-pit.

Irritated by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted 'BE SILENT! '.
There was a pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody was looking at the
Santa and the angry Pilot.

Santa stared at the Pilot in silence for a moment and the next moment
was shouting,
'OEING! OEING!! OEING!!! OE...'.

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Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED
& RETIRED!

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.

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A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

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Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

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Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

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Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant
it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.

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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....

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Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the
passengers in the car he was driving..

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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..

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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.

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Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"

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Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

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Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as

women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

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My friend has a fine watch dog.

At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.

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An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.

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A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

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There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off evil........ Just when the clock struck 11... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

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Raj and Saj, now pilots are trying to land an airplane at Heathrow Airport.

They start descending and as they touch the ground Saj screams 'Oye Raj, the runway is ending...".

Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Saj screams again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...". Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again... This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent Raj says : "Look at those stupid Brits, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway..", "I know" answers Saj, "But look how wide they made it...."

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"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?

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Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

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Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

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Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he had fared. He replied, "Exam was okay, except for the past tense of 'think'. I thought, thought, thought and at last, I wrote 'thunk'!"

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A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.
The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person." The
sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close."

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Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."