Heaven is for everyone. A martian joke.

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and a martian, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.

The Martian then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."

"Wrong," said the martian, "it's from my asshole." And the idiot went to Heaven.

Therefore don't ever underestimate a martian !!!

More Martian Jokes

MARTIAN ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Martian were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the
first on the moon!" The Martian said, "So what? We're going to be the
first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian.To which the Martian replied, "We're not
stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A martian was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it
on or off?"

FINALLY, THE MARTIAN JOKE TO END ALL MARTIAN JOKES!
A girl was visiting her martian friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The martian responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooooo......," answered the martian. "They're watch dogs"

Two Martians

Two martians living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking. One martian says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?" The other martian turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?"

Martian at the doctor's office

A gorgeous young American goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor.
"Show me."The American took her finger, pushed on her left hand and screamed; then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said,
"You're not really an American, are you?""Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a Martian.""I thought so," the doctor said.
"Your finger is broken."

Cricket Joke

"I am a cricket fan",a first grade teacher explains to her class.
"Who likes cricket?"
Everyone raises a hand except one little girl "Rosie", the teacher says,surprised
"why don't you raise your hand?"
"I'm not a cricket fan."
"well,if you are not a cricket fan then which game do you like?"
"football", Rosie answered.
"why in the world are you a football fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are football fans."
"that's no reason to be a football fan",the teacher replies,annoyed.
"you don't always have to be just like your parents.
What if your mum and dad were morons? What would you be then?"
"A CRICKET FAN"